Nowadays, many parents struggle with kids and cell phones. For most of us, this is one area we don’t have an example from our childhood to draw from since cell phones weren’t as common when we were kids as they are today.
Without our own experiences to guide us, how do we determine what’s right for our own kids? I think a good place to start is to arm ourselves with information.
When the first iPhone debuted to the public over ten years ago, it caused an explosion of consumer excitement. A slew of new phones, apps, and designs sprung up over the next decade, and during this time, the number of users under the age of 18 jumped as well.
Today, nearly 50 percent of kids are getting their own phones by the age of 11 or 12, according to a recent Nielsen report. If you are undecided about getting your kids a phone, there are several benefits of kids and cell phones that you may want to know about before you make up your mind.
Kids and Cell Phones – Benefits
1. Increased Social Interaction
If your child has difficulty making friends, giving him or her a cell phone may go a long way in boosting social interaction with others. Social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr allow your child to reach out and find other kids that share his or her interests.
While not all of these kids may live in your neighborhood, internet friendships can help your child learn how to create ties with others and foster social connections that may last far beyond their childhood.
Also, since teens don’t go anywhere without their phones, they can be used for party games. This printable What’s In Your Phone Game is perfect for your daughter’s tween or teen sleepovers & slumber parties. An easy game they’ll love.
2. Safety and Security
If your kids are vying for more independence, giving them smartphones can give you peace of mind about their whereabouts while allowing them their freedom. It may improve family relations and build your children’s confidence as well.
A quick text or phone call lets you know that your child is safe at a friend’s house, the library, or at an after-school activity.
Some smartphones include security apps that allow you to see your children’s whereabouts on a local map and alert them in case of an emergency.
For example, if you are scheduled to pick up your daughter at her junior high at 3:30 and your younger child comes down with the flu at her school at 3:00, you can send an alert that will let everyone in your group know. This allows you to make alternate plans with a minimum of stress.
3. Learning Responsibility
You may flinch at the thought of giving your young teen an item as expensive as a cell phone, but such a treasured item may improve their ability to be responsible. After all, a device that allows them to watch movies, listen to music, and keep in touch with their friends is likely to be guarded and treated like their most precious possession.
Another benefit in this area is that you can use the phone as a tool to teach them about money, budgeting, and the consequences of overspending. This can be accomplished by including your kids on your family’s cell phone plan and letting them know how much data they have available each month.
If they exceed that limit, you can set a consequence such as loss of phone privileges or assign them additional chores to make up for the extra expense.
4. Technological Savvy
The future belongs to technology, and giving your younger teens access to a cell phone might give them an edge when it comes to learning new skills. Learning young may steer them toward a career in mobile technology and follow in the footsteps of Chris Sacca, popular entrepreneur and CEO of Lowercase Capital, where he helps bankroll startup companies. Chris Sacca’s wife, who is a partner in the company, is also the mother of three young children who are also growing up in the world of advanced technology.
While you might not understand all the apps and social media platforms that are available to your kids, giving them the chance to explore them and learn can help keep them current on the latest technology. Later on, when your children are college-bound, they may have an edge for classes that include virtual lessons and other programs that require knowing how to use mobile technology.
5. Educational Support
If your child has ever come to you for help with algebra or a difficult literature assignment and even you had a hard time understanding it, having a cell phone can put your child in touch with homework assistance almost immediately. Free online message boards, lessons, infographics, and tutorial websites can be reached with the tap of a button. Some schools even support their own after-school sites where your kids might be able to find help while writing essays or trying to puzzle out algebraic equations.
If you decide to get your kids their own phones, contact their school and ask if there is a virtual parent portal available so you can keep track of each child’s progress and get them help before they start to fail tests, not after. The better informed you are, the more you might be able to enrich your children’s educational experience.
The decision to give your kids their own cell phones can be a difficult one, especially if they are not yet teenagers. However, there are several benefits as well, and as long as you monitor your children’s phone usage, it can be a useful tool.
I am a mom, and we gave our daughter a Gabb phone, it has texting and phone, and music on it. BUT I DO NOT AGREE with you that kids should have Facebook or Insta accounts so young! You have to be at least 14 I believe to even have a FB or Insta account. So many sexual predators on there, not to mention the addiction to them, the bullying etc. increased suicidal and depression. I know adults that have had to get off of social media because of these things, I can’t imagine how an 11 year old would handle this.
Thank you so much for sharing your opinion on this. I think it’s really helpful to hear different perspectives so parents can make the best decisions for their families.
Hi,I’m Bibi I’m 16 and I’m a Nigerian,I’d be done with high school by next year but to do that,I have to pass this examination (WAEC) and my parents would not let me get a phone till after the exam next year and all the people on my class have phones,I always feel left out how can I convince them to get me one soon!!
thanks
Maybe share this post with them and then you and your parents can have a discussion about cell phones. Ask them what their concerns are about you having a cell phone and see if there’s anything you can do to alleviate their concerns.
Hi am treasure and my mom is too protective about us I don’t have a social life and anytime I talk to her about it she be shouting at me as of right now am using her phone and we literally have an extra phone in the house that she won’t give me and I was wandering weather you could convince her and I will be very happy thank you
You are the one that needs to sit down and have a discussion with your mom about you wanting to have a cell phone. You can share this post with her and see if it helps.
I wanted to add that my mom also thinks I will get glued to my phone and not spend time with her but I know I wouldn’t do that what do you think my persuasion for that should be?
That’s something you need to think of because you know your mom best, but maybe you can share this post with her and see if that helps.
Hi I’m 11 and almost everybody in my class has a phone When my friends come over they show me cool stuff on their phones and I feel left out that I don’t have one. I’ve talked to my mom about it before but she want reasons why I should so I’m working on an essay to show to her do you have any ideas that would make it better thank you 😊
See my reply to your other comment.
Hey I’m in 7th grade. I already have an Apple Watch and an iPad but I want an iPhone for portability and more storage space. My mom says I will get one when I’m sixteen but that’s still three years away and I want one for my 13th bday… What can help me convince her?
I think you should first thank your mom for all of the devices she’s already given you and let her know how grateful you are to have them. Then, ask her why she wants you to wait until you’re sixteen to have a phone. Once you know the reasons, you’ll have a better idea of how to discuss it with her.
Hi, I am 11 in 6th grade. Almost everyone in my grade has a phone but my parents won’t let me have one. I feel left out every time my friends are watching their phones. I tried to ask them why can’t have a phone, but my dad said it was not good for me. All my friends have phones and they talk about things I don’t know on TikTok or other social media. I told my parents about it, and how I felt left out because I don’t have a phone. I think I am ready for a phone and most people have it. How can I convince my parents? Thanks! 😊
Maybe you can ask your parents when they think you’d be ready to have a phone, and then you can have a discussion about that. At least then you’d know if there are things they want you to do before you can have a phone or if there’s a certain age when they think you’ll be ready for a phone.
i want a phone but my parents say i am not matrure. What do i do?
You can have a discussion with your parents and see what their concerns are. Maybe ask them if there’s an age when they think you’ll be mature enough, or if there are certain things you need to demonstrate to show your maturity. level.
Hi my name is Alex and my mom and dad won’t let me have a phone because they say it will do no good but all my friends have a phone and I won’t get too glued to the phone and still they won’t let me have one at all I really want one I’m in 5th grade
Hi Alex, your parents are most likely trying to protect you from some of the negative consequences of cell phones so your best approach would be to have a frank and open discussion about it. Really think about WHY you want a phone and how you would use it and ask your parents what their concerns are and work towards coming up with some parameters and rules that would make them more comfortable with the idea. Your parents aren’t likely to give in if you want a phone just because “everyone else has one.” What are some other reasons you want one? My kids use them to get help with homework and make sure they have the right assignments. It gives them a sense of security when they are at an after-school event because they have a way to communicate with me if the event lets out early or late or if they get separated from their friends somehow. And I have a way to track their location, which I don’t often use but does give me peace of mind.
Ok but I want and kinda need one for emergencies
You can mention that in the discussion with your parents, like I mentioned above.
Hi im Alex and im 10 and in 5th grade. I have a phone but my parents won’t allow me to play games because they say I will get addicted but I play on my Ipad and when they say to do something i do it. Also they think that i will get harassed on social media but i have great friends who are white hat hackers and can track down the person and tell them to apoligize. Yet my Mom and Dad won’t allow me to add other stuff.
Hi Alex, I’m sure your parents are just doing what they think is best for you. Maybe as you get older, they’ll allow you to use your phone for additional things.
ur right
btw do u use discord
Thank you for your kind words! No, I do not use discord.
Im in 7th grade and i have a phone at my moms but not at my dads my dad says i cant have one becasue what s the point of having one. I told him one night “What happens if im at a friends house and something happens to me and my friend and we both don’t have a phone” then my dad’s girlfriend said “If you can find any benefits of a 12 year old having a phone then let me know” And now i feel left out at school because i don’t have a phone.
Hi Alyvia, your dad is most likely trying to protect you from some of the negative consequences of cell phones so your best approach would be to have a frank and open discussion about it. Really think about WHY you want a phone and how you would use it and ask your dad what his concerns are and work towards coming up with some parameters and rules that would make him more comfortable with the idea. Your dad isn’t likely to give in if you want a phone just because “everyone else has one.” What are some other reasons you want one? My kids use them to get help with homework and make sure they have the right assignments. It gives them a sense of security when they are at an after-school event because they have a way to communicate with me if the event lets out early or late or if they get separated from their friends somehow. And I have a way to track their location, which I don’t often use but does give me peace of mind.
I can relate
I’m in 7th grade and have an ipad
All my friends have a phone and I just feel so left out
I’m sometimes forgetting things that my parents tell me to do but I also feel that my mom and dad’s expectations are too high
I make straight A’s, have great behavior, and I’m good with my sisters
So I think I would have a phone but I don’t own how to convince my mom..
Any help? Because I’m tired of being left out cause I don’t have a phone and I really want one because I think it’s time since I’m in 7TH GRADE..
Hi Amelia, your parents are most likely trying to protect you from some of the negative consequences of cell phones so your best approach would be to have a frank and open discussion about it. Really think about WHY you want a phone and how you would use it and ask your parents what their concerns are and work towards coming up with some parameters and rules that would make them more comfortable with the idea. Your parents aren’t likely to give in if you want a phone just because “everyone else has one.” What are some other reasons you want one? My kids use them to get help with homework and make sure they have the right assignments. It gives them a sense of security when they are at an after-school event because they have a way to communicate with me if the event lets out early or late or if they get separated from their friends somehow. And I have a way to track their location, which I don’t often use but does give me peace of mind.
I really want a phone it’s just that my older brother smashed 2 of his older phones when he was in Grade 5 and 6! Now my parents won’t trust me with a phone because of that so now I have to wait for 3 years to get one all because of that when it wasn’t me who smashed my phone so now I am really annoyed as my friends always just lean against a wall and do stuff on their phones and then they ask me why I didn’t bring my phone and then I have to say I don’t have one and then I get really embarrassed!
Maybe you can have a discussion with your parents about how responsible you are, and give examples of things you own that you’ve done a good job being responsible for. I know it’s hard when it seems like everyone else has something and you don’t, but it’s okay to not have everything your friends do. You can find other creative games or things to do while they’re on their phones and maybe they’ll want to join you.
Omg! something just like that has happened to me and now I’m stuck trying to write an article of my own about allowing me to get a phone b/c my sibling has messed it up for me! And all my friends also have phones! So many younger children have to face that because of the things their older siblings did! Its so annoying!
My dad is turning my good idea into a bad one. Like sports if it is going to run late i can use my phone but he says just use my coaches.
Maybe you need to sit down with your dad and you can let him know the reasons you need a phone, and he can share with you his concerns. Then, hopefully you can come up with a good plan you can both agree on and feel comfortable with.
hi, my parents gave me a phone with no calling or texting about a year ago to see if I could manage having a phone. After two weeks or so, I used it as a timer outside and forgot to bring it in. It rained that night and ruined the phone. I feel really bad and embarrassed. What can I do to regain their trust? (ps I’m really mature for my age but SUPER forgetful.)
You should talk to your parents and ask them what you can do to regain their trust. You can also just try your best to do all of the things they ask you to do so you can show them you can be responsible.
Hi I’m Divya.
I’m 10 and in grade 6.
i already have a phone but all i need is a sim,my mom would let me have social media and any type of games but not a sim. i feel i should save up my birthday money and christmas money to save but my puts it in my bank account. what do i do?
This is something you need to talk about with your mom.
Hi! I’m in the 7th grade and my parents said that if
i get all A’s they could get me a phone but just to show responsibility i’m making them a power point about the benefits do you have any other benefits?
Also, anyone who’s parent’s can not a afford a phone, I recommend to buy the amazon renewed phones they are some much cheaper and BUYSPRY is a very reliable seller who works with them.
Thanks for the tip Chimi!
Is there anyway you can send me the link the the presentation in chat. I am trying to also convince my parents and I think a presentation can help show my responsibility
Hi Carson, I’m not sure which presentation you’re talking about. You’re welcome to send them the link to the post. Good luck!
That is exactly what I was going to do for my 13th birthday! I’m in 7th grade and my parents keep telling me about all these parents that said to wait as long as you can and kids who still don’t have one in high school. Not only would the phone help me, but not having one makes me feel left out like everyone else is growing up and I’m left in the dust.
Same thing with me I have to get good grades to get a phone
very helpful
Hi o.j. 11 my friend have joined at iPhone ‘ll and more is not have one. At all my mom says I might look up dirty things unless my mom passed down her old phone I’m not getting one how do I get my parents responsibility😊😒
you can try writing them an essay on why you deserve a phone and why its a good idea.
i am doing that now
I have to do that for my school.
P.S Im 10 and in 5th grade
I am 10 years old
I have tried everything to get my parents to get me a phone, but they think that I will play games and get addicted.
But really all my friends have the iPhone 11 Pro and Pro Max.
I just need A Phone for texting and calling.
They won’t even agree to give me a google pixel 2 or 1
I don’t understand why, I know it’s not because of the money.
Cause they have the latest phone and latest devices
Can I get some Advice Please?
How do I convince them?
Hi Chris, your parents are simply trying to do what they believe is best for you. Perhaps you will be able to persuade your parents, but you may still be unsuccessful. Please try to understand your parents’ motive which is ultimately, for your well-being. When you try to see things from their perspective, they’re more likely to show you the same respect and consider the situation from your perspective. Also, suggest an in-between solution that will give you the opportunity to prove responsibility with a phone while protecting you from some of the things your parents are concerned about. Look into an iPod touch which will let you message and FaceTime with your friends, Gabb Wireless which is a prepaid smartphone designed specifically for kids in your situation, and parental control apps like Net Nanny.
hi i’m kail in 8th and i really want a phone because i have a not working iphone 5se and everyone in my class has a phone bigger than an 8 and i want the 8 plus but my parents won’t give me one i have been asking for the last 2 years and all 4 of my parents are rich and my dad has 4 cars my stepmom has a BMW and my mom has a audi qx80 and my step dad has a 2 porches and i live in a ok manchin . i know and am realizing that i’m not that good of a person and daughter and i have been trying to do better what do i do !
I made a slideshow with the info from this site and now my parents are rethinking it. I am 12.
Well for starters, I would wait a little longer, till 6th grade or 13 years old. I wasn’t even thinking about phones when I was 10, but things can be different.
what if you promise them you wont play games one it and to parental controls
Hi I’m nella I’m in sixth grade.i am very active and social. All my friends have phone pretty much my whole class. I really want a phone so i don’t feel left out. I’m pretty responsible and I don’t do anything that my parents disapprove of. I’m not sure why they won’t give me one.Can I have some advice??
Hi Nella, your parents are most likely trying to protect you from some of the negative consequences of cell phones so your best approach would be to have a frank and open discussion about it. Really think about WHY you want a phone and how you would use it and ask your parents what their concerns are and work towards coming up with some parameters and rules that would make them more comfortable with the idea. Your parents aren’t likely to give in if you want a phone just because “everyone else has one.” What are some other reasons you want one? My kids use them to get help with homework and make sure they have the right assignments. It gives them a sense of security when they are at an after-school event because they have a way to communicate with me if the event lets out early or late or if they get separated from their friends somehow. And I have a way to track their location, which I don’t often use but does give me peace of mind.
That’s not true you probably lie sometimes
I
my parents will not give me a phone. even if you argue they will not give in
Hi I am going into high school and my parents still will not let me have a phone. My dad is even making me write an essay to why I should get a phone. What are some more reasons. He is very stubborn. Thanks!
Hi Madisyn, it sounds like you’ll be writing a persuasive essay. I’d start by identifying all of the reasons your parents might be opposed to giving you a cell phone and counter each point. Are they concerned about the cost? Your ability to take care of it? That it will put you in danger? That you will ignore other responsibilities? That you’ll be exposed to bullying on social media? Try to figure out why they are against giving you a phone and outline arguments (ideally, with proof and examples) of why they need not worry. Then, outline the many benefits. As a parent, I like having the ability to contact my kids and get feedback from them while they are away from home. They can easily send me a text message if they are in an uncomfortable situation without anyone noticing. It also helps us coordinate pick up times much easier so neither of us spends a ton of time waiting. My high schoolers are actually required to have a cell phone since they submit some of their assignments this way (some teachers use this as a method to prevent cheating). Finally, if your dad is being stubborn, it’s a good sign he is taking his parenting responsibilities seriously. You’re lucky to have a concerned dad looking out for you. 🙂
I’m in the exact same situation(about to be a sophomore) ….start off with asking for small phone privlages such as texting and then later ask for use of the web and social media.
Hi, my mom won’t give me a phone, she says ideas I can’t be more responsible then we can talk about it again. I’ve tried being more responsible by doing my work in school and doing my chores st home. What are some other ways that I can show responsiblity? I really want a phone and all of my friends have one. I’m in 7th grade and I feel like it’s time. Thank you! 😊
Hi Malaury, cell phones can be very expensive and they expose you to a lot of other things that parents like to shield their kids from. Some ways to show your mom that you are prepared for the responsibility of a phone are to take good care of your things (put things away, keep your room clean and tidy), be open with your parents about things happening in your life, even if you think they won’t approve. If your mom knows that you will be honest with her and tell her about things that are troubling you, she might be less worried about how you will react to things you might see/hear on your cell phone. Sit down with your mom and explain what apps you want to use on the phone and why. Agree to let her periodically monitor the content on your phone so that she can rest assured that you are using it as agreed. She probably would require this anyway, but if the idea comes from you, it demonstrates to her that you want the phone for intentions she can support and that it won’t become a device that puts you in danger. Also, if you show a willingness to contribute to the cost of the phone, you will have an added incentive to take care of it. If you have any money saved or if you earn money from an allowance, offer to put some of it towards the phone and service plan. Avoid the argument that you want it because all of your friends have one. As a mom, I can tell you that argument carries no weight whatsoever. Finally, even if it takes a while to convince her, respect her decision. Acting out will only convince her that you aren’t emotionally ready yet. If you handle disappointment maturely, it will work in your favor in the long run. Your mom just wants to protect you and in her unique role as your parent, she knows you in a way others don’t. Trust her instincts and wisdom and you’ll earn her trust and respect in return.
I have been an IT specialist for over 17 years and these are the worse 5 reasons for ever giving a child a mobile device. Kids are known for not following rules and if you don’t believe me, just ask the thousands of teachers that take away mobile devices every day in class.
Facebook is NOT for children and it has never been designed as such. I would never allow my 10-year-old on Facebook as much as I wouldn’t let her go outside in the middle of the night. The number of predators and perverts I have found being an IT professional (from even those you never suspect) has made me suspect of just about every guy out there.
The most idiotic reason for giving them the cell phone was “getting over social awkwardness or being shy.” Giving them a laptop or pad to use at home where they are supervised is a brilliant idea but for those of you that have watched hours of kidnappings, rapes, bullying and child abuse on the Investigative Discovery Channel know that the cell phone was the number one common denominator of all these episodes involving minors.
RETHINK your position on this matter!!
Hi Mark, thank you so much for sharing your experience and opinion. It’s clear you are passionate about the topic and I appreciate a different perspective for my readers to consider. I have 5 children, my youngest is 11, and all have cell phones. I’m aware of technology addiction, predators, and as a blogger, well aware of the evil that lurks online. Personally, I choose to trust my children and arm them with the knowledge to make wise choices and follow the rules I establish for their safety. My purpose for this post was to highlight potential benefits of cell phones for our children since I believe many people outright forbid them without considering all angles and solutions, not to advocate that all children should have one. Your comment has highlighted that this issue is a broad and important one (again, I thank you for taking the time to write it) and though my position hasn’t changed, I do see the need to provide more complete and diverse information to help my readers make the best decision for their families. I will be updating the post to reflect alternative points of view.
i have a phone i understand u tho