If your first born child headed off to college and took part of your heart with him like mine did, here are 7 easy ways to stay connected with your child at college.
Like most parents who send their kids off to college, I (not-so) secretly dreaded an emotional separation that might form as a result of the physical separation.
Here’s good news for those of you who are worried about the same thing — in many ways, you and your child will actually become CLOSER after you live apart.
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Why is it Important to Stay Connected With Your Child at College?
Of course, one of the most important things to a parent is making sure your child is safe and protected. We don’t stop caring for our kids when they enter college, we still want our kids to live happy, healthy, successful lives.
One of the most important things you can do to help your child is to make sure they feel seen, heard, valued and loved. Meeting this basic human need will make sure that your child can thrive.
Staying in contact with your son or daughter while they’re in college, shows them that they’re a priority in your life and that you still love and support them even though they’ve become adults.
If you want to make sure you do this, but aren’t sure how, here are some ideas based on what I learned when my son went away to college.
Don’t Wait For Your Child to Call
It’s tempting to try to hold back from reaching out to our kids when they go off to college to avoid smothering them. In an effort to avoid being helicopter parents, we might not realize that our kids still need us as safety nets.
Proud kids might not call when they need us because they are worried that we’ll be disappointed.
Just like you want to be missed and needed by them, they want to be missed and needed by you. Call them and let them know you’re calling for yourself, because you miss them and just need to hear their voice.
This will not only make your child feel closer to you, it will make it easier for your child to be honest with you about his or her needs.
Don’t Call Too Much
I know, I just told you that you need to be proactive about calling. That being said, you don’t want to call so much that your child feels stifled.
In your initial call, find out which times work best for your child and establish a schedule. Or, text before you call to make sure your child is free to talk.
Be (or Get) Tech-Savvy
Our kids were raised in a tech culture so they rely on it for almost every aspect of their lives. If you want to connect with your child, it will be easier if you do it where your child is already present.
Get comfortable texting. Use Skype or FaceTime. Figure out Snapchat.
Do NOT get on your child’s Instagram and post embarrassing comments on photos. Stick with mediums that allow you direct contact instead of public interaction (unless your goal is to embarrass your child, in which case post and tag away!).
Send Care Packages
This is one of my favorites since it gives me an excuse to go shopping and also guarantees me a phone call. It will make your child’s day and their friends will appreciate it too, especially if there’s some snacks they can share.
If you need some ideas, check out these posts:
Home baked goodies are always a welcome treat! Just make sure you pack them so they arrive fresh and intact. Check out these tips for how to package brownies on Organized 31.
Visit
Your child is exploring a whole new life in college and he or she will want to share it with you.
Telling you about it on the phone or at home during holidays isn’t the same as showing you. So even if you live far away (my son goes to school 700 miles away), try to visit at least twice during the school year – once per semester (if you can, make one of those visits on family weekend).
If you decide to surprise your child, try to give his or her roommates or friends a heads-up. Cluing them in will not only make it easier to surprise your child, it will also make your surprise appearance a positive experience.
Shared Activities
If there’s something that you already enjoyed doing together, you can keep that up even though they’re not there with you.
You can both still watch the same sporting event on t.v., your favorite t.v. show, etc. and then discuss it on your weekly phone calls or text them about it.
My family loves to play games together, so if there’s any online games you enjoy playing, you can schedule a time when you can play them online together.
Try a new recipe on the same day. Then, you can text or call each other and talk about how it turned out and give each other any tips on making it even better next time.
Remember Special Days
Make sure you remember your child’s birthday by sending them something special and calling or texting on that day.
If they have any exams coming up, send them a quick “good luck” message so they know you’re thinking about them.
When your son or daughter does well on an exam, send them a congratulatory text, call, or even send them a surprise.
Your college student will appreciate the effort you make to let them know you love and care about them, and want to support them in whatever way they need.
My son just finished his first week of college. We’ve chatted on the phone a couple of times. We’ve texted daily. I’m looking forward to creating my first care package to send him this week. It’ll be another couple of weeks before we go visit for family weekend, but I can’t wait!