Last Updated on March 29, 2025
Life’s been good lately—and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. But with all the kindness I’ve received, I’ve also faced a small challenge: how to properly say “thank you.”
I didn’t grow up in a household where thank you notes were a thing. The first time I even heard about them was while planning my wedding. Suddenly, entire chapters in bridal books were dedicated to the art of gratitude. Then I married a Marine, and the thank-you-note game leveled up. In military circles, sending a handwritten note after attending someone’s home event isn’t just polite—it’s expected.
At first, I followed the rules because I was told to. Now, I do it because I want to. Thank you notes aren’t just about etiquette—they’re about connection. They’re a small but powerful way to say, “You matter. What you did made a difference.”
Why Thank You Notes Still Matter
In a world of texts and emojis, a handwritten thank you note stands out. It’s personal, thoughtful, and shows you took time to appreciate someone’s effort. Whether it’s for a gift, a dinner, or a kind gesture, your note tells the recipient: You made my day.
The Six Simple Rules for Writing a Great Thank You Note
Don’t worry—you don’t need to be a poet or write a novel. Just follow these six easy rules:
1. Be Prompt
The sooner you write it, the better. Gratitude is most powerful when it’s fresh. Aim to send your note within a few days, but don’t skip it just because time has passed. A late thank you is still better than none.
2. Make It Personal
Use the recipient’s name and mention exactly what you’re thanking them for. “Thanks for the gift” is vague. “Thanks for the cozy blanket—it’s already my go-to for movie nights” is memorable.
3. Keep It Positive
Even if the gift wasn’t your style, focus on the thought behind it. Thank them for their kindness, generosity, or effort.
4. Keep It Short
Three to five sentences is perfect. You’re not writing a memoir—just a sincere note of appreciation.
5. Be Sincere
People can sense when you’re just going through the motions. Write with genuine feeling. If you’re not feeling it, it’s okay to skip the note—but maybe reconsider accepting gifts from people you don’t appreciate.
6. Add a Specific Detail
This is the secret sauce. Mention how you’ve used the gift, how it made you feel, or how it reminded you of the person. It adds warmth and authenticity.
Digital Thank You Notes: Modern Etiquette Made Easy
Handwritten notes are wonderful, but sometimes a digital thank you makes more sense—especially when time is tight or you want to respond quickly. Just because it’s digital doesn’t mean it has to feel less personal. Here’s how to get it right:
1. Use Email for Formal or Professional Thanks
An email thank you is perfect after job interviews, meetings, or collaborations. Keep it polished but warm. Bonus points if you send it within 24 hours.
Subject: Thank You
Hi [Name],
I really appreciated the opportunity to [mention event, meeting, or gesture]. Your insights were helpful, and I enjoyed our conversation. Thanks again for your time and generosity!
Best,
[Your Name]
2. Texts Work for Casual or Close Relationships
A quick text can be the perfect way to show instant gratitude—especially for everyday favors or spontaneous gifts. Keep it brief, but be specific.
“Thanks so much for picking up the kids today! It gave me a much-needed breather. You’re a lifesaver!”
3. Voice Notes or Videos Add a Personal Touch
Want to go the extra mile? Send a short voice message or video. It only takes a minute, but hearing your voice (or seeing your face) makes it super meaningful.
4. DMs Are Fine—But Make Them Thoughtful
If someone sent you something via social or supported you online, a direct message thank-you is totally appropriate. Just be sure it’s more than a quick emoji or “thx.” Make it heartfelt.
5. Avoid Group Thanks (When Possible)
Mass thank-yous can feel impersonal. Try to message people individually—even if you’re saying similar things. That small effort makes a big difference.
Bottom line: A digital thank you note still counts—if you put in the same thought and care as you would with pen and paper. Gratitude is always in style, no matter the format.Sample Thank You Notes
Need a little inspiration? Here are a few quick examples to get you started:
For a dinner party:
Dear Joe and Jane,
Thank you for the amazing dinner last night. Those chicken enchiladas were unforgettable! We had such a great time and can’t wait to return the favor soon.
For a thoughtful gift:
Dear Liz,
I absolutely love the running socks! They matched my outfit perfectly and were surprisingly comfy. You always find the best stuff—thank you!
For a teacher:
Dear Mrs. Smith,
Thank you for being such a positive influence on Johnny this year. Your patience and encouragement helped him grow so much. We’re truly grateful for all you’ve done.
Whether you’re writing one note or twenty, remember: it’s not about perfection. It’s about making someone feel seen and appreciated. And that’s something we could all use a little more of.
Great blog post! I’ve become a little bit lazy writing thank you notes now that we can text. You reminded me of how thoughtful and kind a “real thank you note” is. I once read that Princess Diana wrote lovely notes and she addressed the envelope before attending. That way it was so much easier to write a heartfelt note in a timely fashion.
Thank you for commenting, I’m so glad you appreciated the post. Princess Diana was a wonderful example of kindness.
Some people tend to overlook the act of saying thank you. This simple work can bring a lot of happiness to the people you addressing with because it’s a sort of appreciating them. Make it a habit in life to say thank you. Thanks for sharing this reminder to us Corrine.
Writing ‘Thank You’ cards is an American tradition that I am yet to get used to. Thanks for the tips 🙂
Im bad about sending any cards. I do appreciate a handwritten note from clients-I should follow suit!
This is an art that we just don’t do anymore. I think it’s a great idea to start it up. We just don’t say thank you enough and it’s really just so sad.
Handwritten notes really are rare these days. It doesn’t make sense to mail things when you can get your message there more quickly with a text, e-mail or phone call but it’s sad we’ve lost the intimacy and personal touch that comes with handwritten letters.
This is a much needed post. I always find myself not knowing exactly what to say when I have to write thank you notes.
Thank you for the tips! I’ll be writing thank you notes at some point the near future for my wedding.
My parents encouraged us to write thank you notes from before we could even write. We used to leave thumb or hand prints. We might have been encouraged along because we were told that we wouldn’t get presents anymore 😉
Whether true or not, I totally agree that sending thank you notes is the right thing to do and doesn’t take that long.
While promptness is key, my grandmother always told me that it’s never, ever too late to send a thank you note. So if you forget, for no matter how long, send one off. I had to once and while I was very embarrassed (and said so), the person responded positively.
Thanks for sharing.
Besos, Sarah
Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo
I’m glad you mentioned personalization. I like receiving cards I know have been tweaked a little for me. Even if it’s just a word or two, that makes me feel people cared enough to even remember WHY they’re thanking me.
I try to remember that as well when I write thank you notes.
I love this and just bookmarked it. I’m not a very talky girl, so I will definitely come back to these tips 🙂
Never actually thought of rules with a thank you note. You are always so thorough. Everything has an explanation! I love it!
Great post! I just wish people would do Thank You notes. It seems to have been lost over the past five years or so with all of the email and Facebook communication.
Well…. #1 on the list kills me every time. I have the best of intentions, but I’m not very good at being prompt! I also tend to make my notes too long. You have a great formula here, and I intend to get better at thank you notes.
Thank you, Corinne, for taking the time to write this post and show us how easy it really is to write a proper thank you note. I intend to put these tips into practice.
Sincerely,
Karen
I did not grow up writing them either but was told I MUST say thank you as soon as I say the person if I did not call them immediately. I taught my boys to write them and try my darnest to do so now. Being a military wife as well. I can tell you, they are appreciated.
Great tips on writing great thank you notes! Growing up, my grandmother taught me the importance of sending sincere thank you notes to people for numerous different occasions. I’m very disappointed in myself for not always following through with sending thank you notes for the small things, but have recently realized that it’s the small things that deserve the most thanks in our lives. It’s the small things that mean the most and shape us into who we are. Thanks for the reminder and the guide!
This is EXCELLENT, and I appreciate the work you put into this! I think I procrastinate on stuff like this because I am not sure exactly the right way to do it. No excuses anymore 🙂
I am really dumb in this actually. I feel that i cant write a thank you note but i think now i can. I will definitely follow these tips and thank you for sharing samples too.
LOVE this! I have also always been a thank you note writer. Now I don’t always do hand written notes any more I do send emails on occasion. I think it is really important to thank others that have an impact on your life. I also admit I get a little peeved when I send gifts and never hear a thing from the receiver.
I definitely grew up knowing about and writing thank you notes or at least calling the person to thank them!! My Mom to this day always remembers to ask if I have remembered to thank someone! And while I do not get overly upset if I do not receive a thank you—my heavens she sure does!!
Thank you for this. I am horrible at writing Thank You notes. Not that I don’t do it, but I don’t know how to do it correctly without sounding like a ditz.
This is a great guide, thanks for sharing. Can you believe I had people complain because I had my children write thank you notes?