How To Say No

Last Updated on January 27, 2025

One of the most valuable skills you can develop to take charge of your life is learning how to say no. Many Wondermom Wannabes love helping others, which is a wonderful trait. However, spreading yourself too thin can leave everyone, including yourself, feeling overwhelmed.

Even if you’re highly organized and efficient, you only have two hands, and there are only 24 hours in a day. Here’s how to balance your desire to help others with your need to protect your time and energy.

Why It’s Important to Say No

While being altruistic and charitable is admirable, saying yes to too many commitments can:

• Force you to miss important moments, like your child’s baseball game.
• Leave you feeling guilty, stressed, or resentful.
• Prevent you from meeting your own needs, which makes it harder to support others effectively.

Remember: It’s okay to say no, even if your reason feels selfish. Taking care of yourself allows you to better care for others.

How to Say No

If you’ve ever struggled with saying no because you don’t want to offend or disappoint someone, you’re not alone. Many of us are nurturers and problem solvers, which can make saying no feel unnatural. Here are strategies to help you say no kindly and confidently:

1. Compliment First

Start with a compliment to soften the rejection and redirect the conversation. People are less likely to feel offended when they hear something positive about themselves or their request.

Examples:

• “That sounds like such a fun event!”
• “What a worthwhile cause! I admire the work you’re doing.”
• “That’s such a great idea!”

2. Express Gratitude

Thank the person for asking you, even if you can’t commit. This shows you value the relationship, even if you can’t help at this time.

Examples:

• “Thank you so much for thinking of me.”
• “I’m flattered you considered me for this.”
• “I really appreciate your confidence in me.”
• “I’m touched that you thought of me.”

3. Keep It Simple

You don’t have to explain your reasons in detail. A polite and clear response is enough.

Examples:

• “I wish I could, but I have too many commitments right now.”
• “I don’t have enough time to do the job properly, so I’ll have to pass.”
• “I have another obligation that conflicts, so I can’t make it.”
• “I’m afraid that’s not my sort of thing, so I’ll have to decline.”

4. Offer Limited Help (Optional)

If you feel comfortable, you can suggest a smaller way to assist or help connect them with someone else.

Examples:

• “Although I can’t attend, I’d be happy to help with copies or prep work.”
• “Please consider me next time when my schedule might be clearer.”
• “I know someone else who might be interested; I can pass the info along.”

Dealing with Persistent Requests

Some people may not take no for an answer, which can be frustrating. If someone keeps pressing after you’ve politely declined:

1. Reiterate Your Boundary: Be firm but respectful in restating your decision.
2. Disengage: If they continue to push, end the conversation. Their persistence reflects on them, not you.

Example Response:
“I’ve already explained that I can’t take this on. I hope you understand my decision.”

Taking Care of Yourself

Learning how to say no isn’t just about turning down requests—it’s about making time for yourself so you can show up better for the people and activities that matter most.

Here are a few additional ways to prioritize yourself:

• Schedule time for activities that recharge you (e.g., exercise, hobbies, or quiet time).
• Learn to delegate tasks to others.
• Create routines that make your days more manageable.

By taking care of yourself, you’ll be a better mom, spouse, friend, and volunteer—and you’ll enjoy life more, too!

If you found this post helpful, here are some other posts you may enjoy:

• Self Improvement Tips
• The 5 Commandments of Busy Moms
• The 7 Types of Friends All Moms Need